Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Bad start

Today marks the first day I'm back to work n it's not as easy as I hoped it to b. a week prior to my return, we've been sending baby over to the mil to get her accustomed though we go over every evening. However on the last few attempts, as if on 6th sense, lil pumpkin threw a tantrum when bathing and feeding at the in-laws. To me, babies r very adaptable and should they b that hungry, they'll drink from the bottle. The adults would just hv to deal with the wails and reluctancy. Instead, I'm constantly being told my the mil that baby is very naughty and dropped subtle hints that it's my fault for latching all this while. Trust me, I had a plan for the daddy to bottle feed the lil one when he returns home but for the entire wk he's either changing switches(yes that's his new toy and apparently more important thAn training the lil one) or he's been engross in his DVD. Even asking him to mop the floor was do difficult. So you can guess as much as to how lil pumpkin takes to the bottle. Then I suggested changing the teats but as usuAl my suggestion was refuted by the mil. I'm not doubting her ability to raise three kids but perhaps I know just a tad more about the baby? And again the hub was not on my side till one day he himself changed the teats and was more successful in feeding.

The above was not the only manifestation of how much my opinion is being treasured. Tdy marks the last day of Chinese new year n the first day bk at work. I purposely came Hm early to hv dinner w his extended family but only to b greeted with a quarrel. The moment I entered our Hm, the hub said that fren P said its really bad to put ebm in freezer, kills antibodies.that was the exact reason why I had insisted on latching initially when both mothers weren't too supportive. Anyways, fren P says best to express n Plc in fridge for 8hrs n should the baby not drink it then Plc in freezer. Given my schedule n the fact that bb won't b with me when I pump (probably get to see her only 8hrs later) the mtd obviously doesn't mk much sense. I tried to voice out but was deemed as interrupting. Then I figured he is constantly listening to fren P blindly. As much as I treasure others opinion, we sometimes must see if it fits the circumstance. So things got heated and he stomped off with me in the background saying I won't go over to granny's. Not only did he not show concern that I didn't hv dinner, he probably cooked up some story for my absence as the mil was shocked to learn that I was Hm. Hm alone on yuan Xiao without my bb n family isn't exactly the best thing.

Long story short, this time, i didn't say or defended my stand like he said, coz would I get my pt across? I felt really guilty coz tonight he insisted on me expressing n him feeding the freshly squeezed milk. Don't ask me what's thd logic but I'm guilty coz I promised the lil one that I'll be the inf feeding her esp her last feed n when she wakes up she'll c me. Before sleeping I'll also b the one carrying her. Day one n I broke my promise coz of him. I left thd house wanting so badly to seek refuge at my mum's but didn't want them to worry n didn't know how to explain coz to them I'm living in bliss n I don't want them to b worrying for their only daughter.

I came Hm after wandering ard thd estate on an empty tummy(stupid me forgot to tk my wallet w me) n cm Hm to c my lil one wailing. I cradled her tightly and latched n she slept. I'm sorry baby to let u wait. Mummy didn't mean to break her promise but things r really intense ESP if the support is weak. I'm so sorry baby, I didn't mean to abandon u. I'm really stressed by lots but thankfully I have u. Mummy loves u darling. U must always remember that.


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