Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Drifting apart

Took this off Holly's blog. I think it's so true thus decided to replicate it here.

Some sooner than others, some more obvious than others... people do change and can drift apart.
A couple does not have to go through a huge, traumatic ordeal (e.g cheating) to break up with each other. Sometimes the relationship simply runs its course.

It's so common, and yet, we often don't see it coming. That's because in most cases, the relationship is exactly the same as it was before, for instance, same bed, same routine, same job, same friends, same country... but now, the feelings are different.

How do you know if you and your partner are drifting apart? Here are the signs...

1. Less Intimacy
By intimacy, I am talking about affection and closeness. Does he still kiss you? Has he stopped cuddling or spooning you at night? Does he pull away when you try to hold his hand?

2. Less Communication
When a partner stops calling as often, or does not bother to return your calls or messages, it's highly likely that he's not bothered to. When you no long feel like you want to tell him about your day (good news or bad news)... it's a red flag too.

3. No Shared Activities
Yes, it's great to have your own life, independent to your partner's. Yes, be your own person. But when you and your partner do not make the effort to include each other into some activities in each others' lives, then you will eventually be 2 completely separate people. Probably not even suited as friends... let alone life partners!

4. No Sex
Yes, there are periods of droughts in every relationship. But prolonged (more than a couple of weeks) periods of no sex (even though you're in the same city/country) is a big red flag.

5. No More Joy
When you realise that there is no more fun and laughter in your relationship, that can definitely be a sign that the two of you are growing apart, especially if you used to laugh together a lot.

6. Petty Fights
Having disagreements from time to time is normal. Fighting every few days is not. If one or both of you start picking fights over the little (and ridiculous) things, or if you find yourselves being much less tolerant than before, those can all be bad signs of an imminent break up.
I wish none of these were true... but it is.

3.5 out of 6. That's my score.
Many factors could cause that 'drifting apart' feeling, maybe not to that extent but inevitable if both dun continue to keep it going stronger. Wonder if it's common among couples nowadays, for the relationship to become saturated or worst, stale?
As time pass by, no matter how pretty you are (or "WERE" once upon a time -- that's worse); if a guy look at you everyday somehow the novelty will wear off.



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