Enhanced Marriage & Parenthood Package

A silly thought just occurred to me of late. I've been reading many other mommy's blog but am wondering if there's actually anyone out there who is interested in reading mine. Not that mine is of much intellect or technical information. It's just mostly rants and marking of milestones. But hmmm many of those blogs put me to utter shame. They are so organised, and not to mention so lengthy!!! i'm quite a chatter thus translating them onto a blog shouldn't be such a problem, but the issue here is TIME! it's always not enough, especially when you are with a toddler and half the time the hub isn't around to help. So yeah, i'm always wondering WHY are the mommy bloggers so disciplined and where do they actually find time? Maybe I'm doing something wrong. 

Lately, the government announced the new Enhanced Marriage & Parenthood Package. Rejoice? Ha! not exactly. I honestly think it's a joke to use such a measly amount to entice a significant growth in the fertility rate. The government is aiming for 7million by 2030. That's when BB k will be 18. sweet. I hope she doesn't get pressured to get married and have kids then. The hub and I are definitely in favour of contributing to the total fertility rate especially after the birth of K who is bringing so much joy to our lives each and every day. However, the financial worries always put us, or at least, ME back. We earn a modest living and with the dependency ratio being 2:1 for me, it's quite a burden. How can working people harmonise their family responsbilities if both have to work? Yet if we don't work, how is K gona be able to attend preschools (which are freaking expensive these days! blame it on the area we are residing...too many rich fellows). Guilt pangs often hit me coz i don't wana be stuck in some other kid's home and missing the milestones in my baby's growing up years. I want to witness her first step (she's almost there, gona walk independently really soon) and not to hear that she could do this or that from her grandmother. I want to be there to cook all those yummy and nutritious stuff for her, instead of feeding her with instant cereals or porridge coz I'm too tired or pressed for time. But all these seems impossible with our high standards of living. The enhanced package doesn't seem to help in this respect. Giving one wk of paternity leave instead of what NTUC recommended -- 2 wks. Hmmm...That, I'm actually fine coz if it's 2wks, the hub will probably end up on the greens for one wk instead of frolicking in the water with his daughter. Yet again, look around you and it's not tough to find a handful of SAHM. Friend M is a typical example and she has been doing it for 6 years now. I've always asked her the secret and her answer was to be prudent in spendings and live within your means. Hmm, her means allows her to live in a condo and drive a Volkswagon. In retrospect, I live in a flat and drive a Toyota. Something is seriously wrong.

All the SAHP article that i'm reading never fails to make me feel guilty. I think that it is highly possible for a family to survive on a single middle income. But as with all, many material pursuits will have to be given up. The might translate to eating out less, staycations, less shopping and byebye branded bags. The thing about Singaporeans, like what a Bloomberg article wrote, we are a materialistic lot, always left wanting the next better thing. The reason I work, is that I love to travel. And we would never be able to afford loan payments on our house, car and be able to travel on a single income. I guess its not often discussed because economically, the standard of living here is pretty high. A family would have to think VERY HARD before deciding not to work. Problem with Singapore is probably we do not have the infrastructure to support all choices. But at least they are trying with the Enhanced package. It's unfair to compare with countries which do it better - OZ, the Scandis and so on - as they are typically fairly welfarist states, and one big reason they have that luxury is they have natural resources. At least we are taking the first step towards building a better infrastructure, they can't overhaul the whole thing in a day.

Motherhood is a curve ball, and I am still trying to reconcile that with my career.

Bb K turns one!

I haven't been up to date with things and this 2013, I shall set things right (at least I hope to). Starting with being more organised and decluttering! I've been doing so in anticipation of the Lunar New Year. I must have thrown away 10 bags of clothes and lots more bags, but somehow the wardrobe still seems full! Strange phenomenon. The hub complains that i'm not ruthless enough and that i'm only discarding 10% of my entire collection. I beg to defer. Well, perhaps if you've got any tips to share on decluttering or being ruthless, please share!

It's cliche i know, but time has zipped by terribly fast! This blog was suppose to record the various milestones in life and yet, since bb k's arrival, i've been trying to juggle things and catching my breath. Without a maid, a jet-setting hubby and crazily scheduled full-time job, i can't help but to give myself a pat on the back as this is the greatest achievement in my life yet! Thinking back, the memories of the day K was born is vividly etched in my mind. The 27 hours of pain! Who could forget that? Her entire body looked squished as a result of her journey in the cozy womb. Her dark brown eyes seemed to be twinkling in delight, her nose squashed and there were patches of red on her face. The interesting looking newborn had perfect wrinkly skin; her diminutive feet looked pigeon-toed as they rotated inwards as she was curled up snugly in the womb for 41 weeks. And today, looking at her, makes it all worthwhile. Round face, rose-coloured cheeks and a pair of sparkling blue eyes that seems iridescent. That describes my baby Kaelyn.    

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The first birthday party was a close-door affair with invitations extended to only both parents and siblings. enjoyed a feast at the famous Royal China @ Raffles Hotel and had her cupcakes specially made by Charlotte Grace. 

nom nom nom...let me try my birthday cakes

Celebrating birthdays, just two days apart.

It's like she knew it was her first birthday. She was exceptionally coorperative and happy that day.

Grandpa is superbly meticulous!

Happy Bear-day!

To mark this important occasion, we also did a photoshoot. The hubs didn't think newborn shoots are such a great idea (he thinks it's a rip off while I m so so keen in capturing THE moment). Fortunately, we didn't spend a bomb then. I can't imagine K pulling through the shoot coz mostly she's fussy. Anyhowz, our photoshoot was done at Hort Park. 830am. Gorgeous weather albeit tremendously warm. The fireball shone mercilessly later at 10am and by then, bb k and Daddy liew were grouchy. Fortunately, some beautiful shots were captured by Edwin Photography.

 Who can resist this sweetie pie?

DJ K is in the house

Anyone in need of a child model? Please contact the mommy at janicewong27@gmail.com =P

my favourite family shot. we were trying to get K to look up at us kissing, but i guess she didn't want to be involved in the RA scene.

MCYS if you are interested in the perfect family shot, please do not hesitate to contact me at janicewong27@gmail.com! haha

Daddy's favourite shot. K's famous "ehhhh" look. She does this each time she wants to be carried. She has since outgrown it thank goodness. It's kindof unglam! Wonder where she learnt it from.

Here's K's developmental update thus far:

Health, Diet & Feeding

• He’s still breastfed by latching on directly in the day when i'm with her and at night. On wkends, she's exclusively MINE! After her birthday, I started weaning him off. She has been doing organic goat's milk (Karihome) at 6mths but doesn't seem to be crazy over it. In fact, she drinks very little. each feed is between 2oz to 4oz. Thankfully, after weaning from the breasts, I put her on Organic cow's milk (Bellamy's) and she has been demanding for milk. Though each feed is still approximately 4oz, it's no longer a pain to bottle feed her and she'll hold her own
• For her solid meals, he started showing preferences for cheese and rice. Thankfully she likes her cheese as it's packed with calcium! Other than that, it's sometimes a pain to feed her as she'll take anywhere from 15mins to an hour to finish her meal with heaps of fussing in between. Now that she has 5 baby teeth, the options in food has extended to beef stew and letting her bite her own fruits. She loves her Fish and soup thus if i were to cook a healthy lunch, i'll share it with her.
• She loves finger-feeding herself  blueberries and bread!
• She’s still rather petite, in the 25th percentile.

Potty Training

• K has actually been potty trained since 3 mth old. She'll give us cues and instantly when we whip out the potty, she'll poop. when she was 6mths old, she knew how to tell us that she wanted to do it and does it periodically once in the morning when she wakes up and in the evening. However, since we got back from Australia, she completely forgotten and has been pooping on her diapers without telling us. URGH regression! At times she'll hide in a corner and once we see that guilt-ridden face, we knew it. The poop i must say, has become tremendously pungent! Hopefully with consistent efforts, she'll be back pooping on her potty. this definitely spells a longer period to diaper independence!
• She is cloth diapered in the afternoons whilst at my MIL's and generally at home she'll be in Huggies disposable diapers. I've recently switched to the pull-up pants as she is becoming very mobile and active.

Sleep

• The fussing to suckle every 2 hourly at night was tremendously trying. I tried various methods (singing, talking, walking, rocking etc) but things still didn't look up till she was almost 10-11months old. It was a nightmare prior and during the weaning period. At the very beginning, she was waking up every half hour before midnight (mind you she sleeps at 10pm or later)..this happens all the way till approximately 2/3am before she finally settles down and wakes up eventually at 7am! Gosh, that's not a lot of sleep baby!
• During the wk of weaning, it was extremely painful and i didn't have the heart to reject her at the beginning. She'll wail her eyes out and slap me on my breasts for milk. She will say "milk milk" and screams incessantly when i tell her "no more". at one point, she was holding on to me, crying and I was holding on the hubs, Crying! Thankfully, all this was over in about a week and I'm not liberated after 13.5mths! Now at 14mths, our supply of EBM is down to the last 6 packs. All those efforts in pumping in the car under the blazing sun and sometimes the scrutiny of foreign workers have paid off. Bb k though, petite, is healthy and has good immune system.
• Naps are bad too prior to weaning. We'd be lucky if she does a stretch of half an hour. 
• Fortunately, it's getting easier and she's now taking 2x1.5hours naps. One mid-morning at about 1030am and the other at around 430pm. Her bed time now is approximately 1030-11pm. I'll settle her in by 10pm and she'll toss an turn for half an hour or so and will typically wake up for a dreamfeed at 430am before returning to sleep till 8am.She resists the hubs when it comes to going to bed thus I have to be the one popping her to bed the moment I'm back from work.

WORDS

 Bb k is really babbling a whole lot these days and below is her repertoire of words:

• Mama
• papa
• popo (my mil)
• Ah Ma (my mom)
• Ber Ber (my bil and her favourite relative)
• Gong gong (She vibrates her lips for that)
• Bear
• Bird 
• Bread
• Lion (ok, she roars)
• Panda
• Egg (she says dan dan)
• Cat (she calls it Mao)
• there
• rabbit
• banana
• bag
• duck
• apple
• eeeeee (when she sees something dirty)
• eat
• mum mum
• milk 
• Ngg Ngg (poop)
• 怕怕 (means scared)
• 辣 辣 (she'll point to the bottle of medicated oil)
• 美美 (means beautiful)
• 姐 姐 (means sister)
• Beat 
• Snake
• Cow (she'll moo)
• up
• five (coz we live on the 5th storey)
• bye bye 
• star
•  

As much as I'm one giant ball of sleepiness, I relish the moments I'm with K, watching her grow and meeting her milestones. Baby, Mummy Loves you!

Yeah! First post of 2013 out of the oven! Great start! 

Resolution: No more procrastination and Better organisation skills!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Eliminate and Concentrate

Sorry for the blog pause, that is if anyone out there is actually reading. It's been quite a whirlwind of activities ever since last November when the lil bub came into our world. I spend an inordinate amount of time figuring out her incessant wails and planning her next feed or my next pump. Now that work has started, every night when I'm back, it's a joy watching her finally succumbing to her fatigue. It's such a breather to be able to sit and followup on things thereafter, only to worry that the lil bub will decide to wake up at 2+am. My brain is certainly not designed to function at the wee hours of the day as the only acceptable thing to do is to snuggle up in bed. That said, in the past i used to do late nights. Coming home at 5am till dad had to lock me out was no surprise. N pre-pregnancy, staying up to chat with sis L till 4am is also a routine. But these days, I'm just hoping I've more time for sleep. I'd be thankful if lil bub allows me a full 4 hours stretch of undisturbed sleep. It's certainly vital that her neural tube develops properly and one way is to SLEEP!

It's a daunting challenge albeit a very rewarding one to be placed in this situation. Love involves sacrifices and I astound myself with my productivity at times. Ok, i can certainly do better but seems like there's always an endless amount of things to follow up. Bad thing about me is I like to tackle the easy stuff first before working up the guts to do something more intense. By then, the pile of stuff would sit there and mock me. Sometimes, I accumulate so many things to do that it starts to look impossible. To be fair, I haven't exactly been very organised in more ways than others. Perhaps coz endless amount of things seem to be coming in ie. enquiries for Jumpstart (which is a good thing); research on lil bub's kindy matters (that will come in a separate post some time lter i hope) and not to mention, with the exams round the corner, a crazy amount of homework to followup. In fact, was just telling the hub that i haven't been able to concentrate and focus even when driving. His reply -- Lack of sleep. I know how u feel. You do? seriously? The hub is always in bed by the time lil bub goes to bed which is approximately midnight. I can't imagine how it'd be when he travels again. With him around, at least lil bub gets to be home early..else she'd have to wait till 10+pm before mommy picks her. By then, fatigue has overwhelmed her and she'd be all cranky. Not a very welcoming gesture after a long day. As if that's not challenging enough, her fussing moments before sleep can take one anywhere from half an hour to an hour or so! In all fairness however, he tries to alleviate my agony. I'm not complaining about this new role, just wonder when I can slow down a bit and concentrate on the lil bub and myself. The hub suggested going for a trip...just the both of us, but easier said than done! He's pressing me for a date to go on the trip and I insisted on bringing lil bub so it won't be that taxing on the MIL. Baby needs mommy! no seriously, u should see her at night prior to her bed time. In anycase, I don't want to be lugging my pump n have to dump whatever I've express. Heart pain! But there's a lot of matters to worry about should we bring baby along eg hv we brought enough diapers? would she feel awful at take off and landing? Will she change her routine n mess things up? Would the ppl there be open to nursing in public? My goodness, the list seems endless, but to the hub, he just wants a "break" from sunny Singapore. We'll see.

I think i seriously need to re-assess my routine. Need to eliminate all the fuzz and concentrate! To begin, maybe I should acknowledge what's mounting on my to-do list and grasp those issues by the horns instead of procrastinating. Need to try harder at spending more time with the lil bub. Guilt is eating me up when I see how she's struggling to keep awake just to see her mama at night! In all honesty, I think i haven't been all that industrious compared to a few months back. It's a stark contrast eg I'd be waking up at 5am to pump but now, i'd rather sleep n pray that lil bub will wake up only at 7am. It's increasingly difficult to be motivated with all this sleep deprivation going on. With that said, i should perhaps stop typing and start doing something more substantial!! haha

Single Parent

Blogging used to be an avenue to destress. It still is, unfortunately, there's simply not enough time these days. Wish someone would come up with a system which verbalises my thoughts as a blog. That would certainly save time!

The last week of February was all joy and sweat. The hub was not in Singapore for a week and it was the first time ever he missed my birthday. By missing, i don't mean not being able to celebrate physically with me, but emotionally and more importantly, THERE"S NO PRESENT!! To be fair, he did get me a bottle of Dior on his previous business trip but he purchased the wrong one! I was whining for Jadore eons ago and have since gotten it for myself. The finger was pointed at me coz I was not appreciative. Sigh....this is the second time he got me a duplicate..clearly the fault doesn't only lie in me? In anycase, we did discuss what my present should be. I reckon, Men are generally dense, thus I might as well make it clear. The discussion was a lively one and it ended off with him saying that he'll get a discount from a certain someone. Surely all this talk has been imprinted in his mind? Think again. When the discussion surfaced for the second time (after my birthday), the finger was once again pointed at me as I did not remind him. Sigh.





Thankfully, i've got great bffs who won't ditch me on this special day! Went out with the gals at the new Katong i12. TGIF is there and I'm gaga over Max brenner..The molten lava cake is to die for! a little pricey though.

Two other people who won't ditch me and would do everything in the world for me -- My parents. SOmehow, with the introduction of their grand-daughter, they seem more patient. They were even willing to queue up from 630pm till 8pm for a seat and till 9+pm for my long awaited dish -- CRAB! thereafter, empress dowager helped to bottle feed Baby K. Amazingly she did it in 20mins flat! So unlike the MIL who needs an hour. Strange. Half the time, mom was talking and carrying Baby K and my dear Billy (aka dad) just sat there and gave me 75% of the crabs! I ate till my arms ached! BUT BOY WERE THEY GOOD!!! I waited for 13months before eating!! blame it on the C-sec! Had to wait an additional 100 days *groan*

A happy meal for a happy me! Cooked noodles w heaps of ingredients and most importantly -- 2 eggs! Noodles symbolises longevity and eggs...errrr....Go google!

The shoulders groaned under the weight of immense responsibility with me getting up in the morning, interacting with Baby K, bathing her, cooking my own lunch (the only proper and most nutritious meal of the day) and thereafter, send her over to the MIL's before carrying the pump, the books and the bag down to the car for work. The day end typically at 9+/ 10pm and by the time I'm back to pick the lil one, her eyelids were as heavy as lead, struggling to see her mommy before she sleeps and demanding for her last feed. It's not until past midnight that I'm able to truly sit down and have a snack/ drink/ bath or even pee! With the hub away so frequently (he doesn't feel so though), lil bub is beginning to wonder who this man is and I am made to feel like a single parent. Often, I marvel at this resilience I have and the ability to take care of the 101 niggly things. It's a real hustle and bustle and these days, I yearn for a day when I can just zone out, chill over a good cup of tea + cakes and not work.

I'm not lamenting that I don't enjoy this working mommy gig, but just wish I can sit back and breathe for a bit before the new day ambushes me. Sometimes, my mind is so bogged with stuff that I can forget to bring back bb's milk that's left in someone's house! Or better yet, i may wake up early to prep lunch to bring along, only to forget to pack it into my bag! All the responsibilities are clamoring for my attention. It doesn't help too that MIL thinks that my job is real flexible and I'll have less work during the hols thus she can tell the son that she's going off for a hol. Going off for a hol isn't the problem. In fact, everyone needs their respite. BUT, can people keep the MOTHER in the loop? When the spare milk runs out, the son gets to know. When there's logistic changes, the son gets to know. But it's the mommy aka ME who is running the show and no one bothers to update me. Often, I'm caught off guard.

I strive to live in harmony rather than becoming overwhelmed and letting chaos reign but the cumulative effect is killing me softly. However, when I see the below face, all fatigue gets erased (momentarily at least):

Who can resist this sweetie pie?
Bad habit! but self-soothing.
happily doing the twist. She has learnt to turn but not quite stable in doing the flip. At times when she can't flip back, she'll get all irritated and whine. haha...Adorable much?

Mummy sayang

Have been back at work for a week and though i took it slow, it has been agonising to leave lil bub behind. I believe lil pumpkin will be left in good hands whilst i'm at work, but guilt and separation anxiety pangs are hitting in fast and furious.

Many a times, people see that i'm in an enviable position of being to work at my own pace but i still put in full-time hours (if not more) with a little flexibility thrown in. Am in the midst of setting my schedule straight but "clients" are always demanding and it's always about they, themselves and them. It's a losing battle when it comes to creating the perfect schedule. In fact, despite letting go of 4 assignments, I'm still stuck with a monday-saturday work week with each day ending at an average of 930pm. Hopefully i can be home on time for lil pumpkin's last feed and pat her to sleep. That is if she keeps up with the current routine.

Things are indeed getting easier. My baby, who looked like an angel, was a monster when it came to the breast. As a nursing newbie in the early days of first-time motherhood, I was constantly stressed, worried, and in pain. Pain was something I experienced a couple of days back when lil pumpkin's latch was bad. I developed blister on the right nipple. The scientific name for it is apparently bleb. Not entirely her fault as she needed more comforting than usual due to a fever. She had her first dose of 5-in-1 and pneumococcal jab on the day she turned 3 months. What a way to celebrate! Brought her to the MIL's as usual and pre-empted her abt the jabs and their side effects. All was good, or so I thought, and the hub and I decided to sneak out for a little pre-Valentine's Day dinner celebration. However, once home, I discovered that lil pumpkin was a tad warm. My fears were confirmed when the thermometer registered 37.5!!

The hub and I panicked and instantly syringed her with paracetamol. She put up a feisty struggle and was clearly uncomfortable and confused. I mean who wouldn't? First it was the nipples then the bottle and now comes the syringe! She must be thinking "WHADDAT?" The night was extremely long as we monitored her temperature every half an hour. It went up to 37.8 and we started to sponge her. Things got a little better but like i said she needed loads of comfort and fell asleep on the breast and screamed when I tried to get her off so that I could empty my aching bladder.

I was really reluctant to head off to work the next day, however, the hub assured me that he'd tk good care of the lil pumpkin. His hourly updates allayed my worries and I survived the day and zoomed back by 4pm. Sux but I don't have a choice. But I must say, the hub was really good. not only did he managed to bottle feed lil baby K (trust me, that's a mean feat!), he also managed to wash her laundry, mop the floor and bring baby k down for lunch!

On the same note, I wasn't having it easy either. The day started with a 5am feed. Thereafter, lil pumpkin refused to sleep and I had to coax her till 6am before pumping the boobies That took me 45mins together with all the sterilising and cleaning up. Seriously hate using the machine! Thereafter, got ready and at 830 i was at work. Constantly whatsapped the hub for updates and I survived till 1230. Found a multi storey carpark and starting milking in the car. Yup. bought a car adapter specially for it and it's insane seriously to be carrying my Medela Pump In Style up and down every day, together with my other barangs! Felt extremely conscious when pumping as there were people walking up and down. Though I was well covered, plus it was dark, I still felt uneasy. Dark- another challenge. I couldn't tell if i had emptied those breasts thus could only use the clock as my guide. after pumping for 20mins, I scooted off to my next venue. Once work was done, I zoomed to my mom's place to collect the groceries for the week. Being a nursing mother, taking care of oneself is of utmost impotence and plus I do not have the luxury of having homecooked food all the time, thus I had to go the extra mile to cook my own lunch whenever possible. By 4pm I was home and it was then that the hub decided that it's easier if we cooked instead of dining out. I agreed and after a good pump and shower, i started preparing whilst the hub and baby took a nap. BOY WAS I TIRED! That's seriously an understatement! I amaze myself at times and wonder where I got all that energy. However, the energy bubble burst that night. My feet were aching and I was feeling grouchy when lil pumpkin didn't want to sleep. It didn't help that halfway through the ordeal, the hub decided to head off to T's place to view a soccer match! But i guess it's all in a day's work and what makes me go on is the smile I receive everyday from the lil one.

Lil pumpkin was all cheer when I hugged and kissed her, though for a moment I felt that she wasn't interested in me. The daddy must have played too much with her! Thankfully, she's still interested in the breasts! haha

Milestones in the making :)

Separation Anxiety

Will be going back to the grind in a wk's time and am agonising over leaving lil bub behind. I believe lil pumpkin will be left in good hands whilst i'm at work, but guilt and separation anxiety pangs are hitting in fast and furious.

Many a times, people see that i'm in an enviable position of being to work at my own pace but i still put in full-time hours (if not more) with a little flexibility thrown in. Am in the midst of setting my schedule straight but "clients" are always demanding and it's always about they, themselves and them. It's a losing battle when it comes to creating the perfect schedule. In fact, despite letting go of 4 assignments, I'm still stuck with a monday-saturday work week with each day ending at an average of 930pm. Hopefully i can be home on time for lil pumpkin's last feed and pat her to sleep. That is if she keeps up with the routine.

10 weeks and counting

It's been a while since I've blogged and the dust bunnies are beginning to settle. You can't blame me...I've been living, sleeping breathing, thinking of nothing else but the lil bub. All I want to do everyday is to survive till nightfall, when I could perhaps lay back and breathe before a new day ambush me. I look downright disheveled.

Anyhow, quick photo update on progress:


I made a big boo boo. Was in too much of a hurry whilst clipping her nails and look what happened! I was frantic as I was alone at home with no baby band-aid. I applied pressure on her little finger but the blood kept oozing profusely. My heart bled and I was unspeakably guilty. After consulting some experienced mommy, i came to realise that it's actually a common thing! haha and that babies are like wolverines, thus their skin will heal in no time. Just air dry it, no plaster needed.

At 4wks, she's 5.1kg and time to upgrade. From a 3-room flat to a condominium and she seems to like it a whole lot!

You got to adore the pictures! I'm simply enveloped in the warmth of love. Looking back, I'm thankful for the unbridled blessings

I'm so happy that both the hub and I were able to witness certain milestones. The above was achieved on 27 January! Jia you lil pumpkin! soon you'd be crawling and creating havoc!

Wearing many hats

It's tough enough being a mother...now i'm a mother, a cow, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a maid and a wife. Rather than becoming overwhelmed and letting chaos reign, it's the cummulative effect of several small steps int he right direction and I think I'm adjusting slowly. It's really quite a struggle to balance the ever-growing to-do-list. No matter how small the item may be eg giving the grandma a call, I have to try to squeeze time for it. The difficulties I face as a new mother caught me off guard. I had looked forward to motherhood and assumed that caring for the baby would happen naturally. Instead, I found that I had no clue. It doesn't help that the hub is constantly travelling...being away for two weeks prior to the Lunar New Year was certainly no joke. Spring cleaning thankfully started early for me, else the dust bunnies on my blog would be passed on to my home. I tend to be an all-or-nothing type of cleaner/ organiser, thus when it comes to spring cleaning, I give myself the added stress. When the hub finally came home for a day in between trips, he had to fall ill! There went my hopes of him helping to take care of lil pumpkin while i catch up on forty winks.

I know that I should not entertain lil pumpkin's every waking moment as that would be really taxing. But trust me, you wouldn't want a wailing child as an accompaniment whilst doing those chores. Thus, I resorted to doing the laundry at 5am and cooking my lunch at 10am. Whenever there's pockets of free time (usually only for 15mins), I would try to do something productive. After spending my last ounce of energy attending to my baby, she would then sometimes cry for no discernible reason, and it puts me over the edge.

However, after 2+months of training, I would say that we have established quite a bit of understanding. I try talking to her quite a bit and she seems to understand that mommy has to bathe, eat and shit. It works sometimes. Her bedtime routine is also more or less fixed, with the fussiness setting in at around 8 - 10pm and dozing off to sleep by 11+pm. That to me is a bonus. Thereafter, she'll wake up at 4am but there were occasions where she woke up at 6am! WOOHOO! At times, I would be the one waking up before her, wondering what's happening? I guess my clock has now been adjusted. These days, mostly, I yearn for more sleep, but would often wake up at dawn with rock hard boobies. Then, Dilemma would strike -- To pump or not to pump, that is the question. You see, very often, shortly after pumping, lil pumpkin seems to sense it and would wake up for her feed! Despite knowing that there's always a constant supply, how can the supply be great right after pumping?

To boost supply, apart from the "holy" fenugreek which everyone swears by it (But i've yet to try), I turn to the kitchen and treating myself well with home cook food. If you recall, I really enjoy cooking, but with the lil one on board, fixing up a simple meal sometimes seems very elaborate and arduous. Below are some of the food I've been pampering myself with:

To minimise the guilt of eating instant noodles, I added fish (生鱼）and egg. Hey, give the woman a break ya, I haven't had instant noodles for eons.

Somehow, I feel that I hadn't had much soup during my confinement and the Chinese believe that confinement should actually be 40days instead of the usual 30 days. My rationale is, just nourish oneself once in a while! the body isn't only gonna absorb during those 40 or 30 days! The hub also benefitted. TCM physician said his body is "cooling" thus would need to take more "confinement" food to "heat" up the body. Thus whatever i drink, I'd give him a bowl.

A rare sight-- 3 dishes and a soup!

Mostly, in the afternoons, I'll just have a fish/ meat and rice. It can get a little bland and boring, thus I try to tweak the recipe at times. The above is pan seared salmon with crispy ginger bits.

Another simple fare

They say you'll have to constantly latch and religiously pump in order to up your supply, so even if it means sacrificing my sleep at 5am, I'll do it. Typically I do it once at that hour when my supply is peak. To date, I'm consistently getting approximately 180-200ml from the better boobie and 90ml from the not so good boobie. A vast difference!

Mom has been pretty helpful, getting me groceries every monday. However, each time she does that, she'd complain that food is expensive. This, despite the fact that I give her additional $ for the food she buys. To top it off, she gets $ from my dad as well. talk about being shrewd. That's Empress Dowager for you.

This was one of the more "elaborate" meals I've whipped up. Preparing and frying the pork chops took a while thus it was really quite an achievement when I manage to savour the fruits of my labour!

530am: Attended to baby's feed
6am: Pat baby to sleep again and got ready to head to the wet market
640am: arrived at the wet market
7am: done with marketing and spent almost $100
720am: bought breakfast for the hub and I at another venue
8am: Arrived home to the above scene (sooo sweet)
830am: was done with washing and packing up the raw produce
840am: decided to pump my rocks since lil bub was sleeping soundly
9am: Thought I could finally take a breather and rest
915am: lil pumpkin decided to wake up for her feed. *YAWN*

Parenthood is a big thing. Make that a big and often lonely thing. Most days, I could sure do with a big dollop of encouragement and inspiration to keep going.