Monday, November 29, 2010

Recalibration of pre-marriage friendships

The weekend hadn't been good. I thought I had a good start on Friday, with a good booze with an old friend W, but alas, it's been downhill ever since.

Firstly, the effigy of my life (or rather, OUR lives) is back in action. This time, suggesting that the problem may lie in us. It's inevitable that marriage can change the complexity of previous friendship. I have no qualms about a married person maintaining a friendship with the opposite sex, but perhaps it's all a matter of degree and context. One should definitely draw the line at maintaining the platonic friendships with the opposite sex after marriage. The fact that intimate issues are discussed at unearthly hours is a cause of some hurt and chagrin. There should probably be rules on this. Yet such are not explicitly laid out and in general, women are more sensitive. How would one feel if his/ her partner is constantly texting or msging the opposite sex? Definitely not "proper" in my opinion and the partner may take it the wrong way. At the very least, even if we don't become best pals, we should at least be on friendly terms and know what's going on. It'd be great if our social circle dovetails. Right now, I sense deceit of some sort. Silly as it sounds, I feel cheated and unloved. Probably inadequate in fulfilling his every need. But I've an innate capacity for chatter so what's wrong? Maybe it's too much. There's a new person in your life now and she takes top priority, regardless of attention of time. However, the hub probably begs to defer as he casually puts it: we have our whole life together! Relationship experts say couples should make time for each other and make that time a priority. I have tried so hard, I'm fell really ill last night. It was miserable enough that I'm ill, but.....(not going to divulge too much for fear that I'm a nag) Alright, to lay the finger on this is absolutely ridiculous. I'm a hopeless romantic, something which is lacking in his department. Need to re-calibrate my thoughts.

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
~ Lao Tzu


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