Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2009 Resolution & Wishes

How time flies (ok that sounds really cliche but it's true). Just a few more hours and it'd be 2009. Perhaps this would be my last blog entry in 2008!
You can skip the whole chunk of words in italics if you don't really know me well on a personal level. Just go straight to the resolutions, coz I'm just whinning the whole time in italics. Feeling emo today.

"In the wee hours of 2008, one should be anticipating the coming of 2009 with much enthusiam and thrill. Somehow, I don't have this feeling. Feelin very emo these days. Initally was rather happy that this yr wld be spent quietly at home, with sweetie promising to whip up a nice meal for me. Been looking fwd to it and wondering what he has in stored, but I guess I'm just keeping my hopes too high. As usual, there's no element of surprise, only disappointment. As usual, planning has never been his forte and he is oblivious to the fact that today is the eve, today is the day he promise to whip up that all impt meal. I even rejected invitation to join in a family dinner, so that the day would be perfect -- just the two of us. To me, it's not really the meal that's impt, it's the heart. He has decided to go for a round of golf in the morning and when reminded abt the hot date, he gave me an irritated look, making me feel guilty for restricting him. Imagine how tired he'd be? Especially since he has been waking up super early since last Thursday...even travelling to Msia at 5am. Each time he's back, the bed wld be the first he receives. To compromise, he said we'll go buy the grocery after his 9 hole. sure. Steak/ chops again. as usual, the easy way out. each time I cook, I plan and really put in 101% into planning the menu. I even go all out to learn, only to be reciprocated with the words " go outside eat cheaper need wash dishes" typical. Not even a word of thanks. I remember once telling him, i don't cook for anyone but my love ones. For years, I've maintained that motto. Guess it's time to take things for granted. Under normal circumstances, I wldn't be pissed, but this time round, an overwhelming feeling of frustration poured through me. Perhaps it's due to the fact that the end of the sch hols is approaching and I'd like to spend more time with love one. Instead, love one decided to channel all energy and love to golfing. Golfing an avg of 3 -4 times over the last wk. I've lost count to be honest. The fact that I'm working my arse out (sorry for the lingo), and he is enjoying the greens, doesn't mk me feel balanced. I wouldn't be so hormonally imbalanced if he had shown more love, concern, understanding and respect. Seeing others treat their partners with so much attention and love makes me wonder if I ever had my share of romance in that form. Herbal soup in the middle of the night; Loewe bag for bday present; one mobile phone after another...these are just some of the stuff. Call me materialistic, bitch, bimbo, weepy whiny ...whatever. I dont care. Don't wish to compare, but at times, i can't help feeling a little deprived. Money should not be a measurement or love but the extent u'll go for the other party is the testimony of your love. Where's my gucci/ maldives? Where's my TLC? Where's prince charming who never exist? I'm woman afterall. Unfortunately, this is a woman who has to pamper herself at all times with her own hardearned $. Even stuff that dont require $, like a stroke of the head, or having a hand on the lap seems far and beyond at times. Having a life of your own is perfectly fine, but perhaps one should try harder to match the other party's schedule? Plan a little perhaps? It's apparently too much to ask for. No wonder a fellow fren who has been married for like 10 yrs have recently shared that in the past, her then-bf would ask if she has eaten and wld buy her suppers, she's always the one buying back meals and calling him to check if he's eaten. she's feeling extremely taken for granted and have ran amok. I guess I should just channel all my energy on my career. Earn loads of greens so that I can b an ATM machine to an army and retire early.

With the CNY coming, the topic about buying gifts for parents has been broached tonight. Earlier, a fren mentioned that he has to buy stuff for his gf's mom. n i was empathizing as I have to buy stuff for my mom, godma n MIL. all out of my own pocket. For years I've been doing so. For years, I've been "birded" by him for spending such silly money. Why can't he just put himself in my shoes? It's simple respect for the other party's culture and family. His excuse -- My upbringing is different. I dont understand why u have to spend such money. No one told me. I have no $.


No one told u? For yrs i've been trying to educate u why i have to buy stuff for my mom. For the last few yrs, watever I bought for mom had your name in it, though u have no share in the budgetting. N u dare say no one told u? Sheez. Now that your fren mentioned that he buys stuff for gf's mom, u say that b4 marriage and after marriage is different. Apparently, i dont see the difference, coz it's still status quo. Marriage is a really different've got two families to take care off and I'm still coming to terms with it."
Anyway, back to my heading --- RESOLUTIONS!
1) FOCUS. really must be more focus in all areas of MY life and MY work.
2) Earn more money.....spread my my empire...let everyone know who's Mdm Wong! (ok that sounds really old)... retire early! haha
3) Buy a new book shelf and get organised!

4) Get that Sony Vaio

5) Get that Nokia HP (which model number i can't quite recall)

6) Ignore all others and pay more attention to myself

7) Pray more (mayb I'm not doing enough)

8) Improve GK; Read more

9) Find more Love/ romance/ respect

10) Control Spending!!! Quit Shopping so intensively!
11) Never cease to learn
12) be more assertive
13) make more effort + time for exercise
14) have more wisedom and patience in dealing with mom
15) I'm still thinking..........................

HAPPY 2009 beautiful people!!


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